You're always on my mind

Don't mind the construction going on behind me

The other night I was watching T.V. at my neighbors house. A commercial came on, I think it was a Babies-R-Us commercial. She asked "Does this bother you?" I responded quickly because I had already thought about it. "Well, not really, because everything reminds me of Brody". I thought "It really doesn't bother me any more than eating a salad does, or driving in my car, or wearing a certain pink tank top(see above picture), or seeing a stuffed frog". Everything reminds me of Brody. 

I never ate a salad until I was pregnant. No, I'm not making that up. One day, I just decided I wanted a salad. I was probably about 4 or 5 weeks pregnant. I got my new car the day before Brody died. It was for him. I had imagined him eating those new bite size yogurt things made by Gerber in the backseat. I think of him every time I get in my car. I think of him every time I wear something I wore while I was pregnant. I wore the above shirt a lot, mostly because it went so well with the black comfy shorts I had gotten and I was really hot ALL THE TIME! Nothing ever looks quite as cute on me as it did while I was pregnant. 
Frogs: Oh, how that child would have hated frogs. Hence, Brody's Frog Blog. His bedding was frogs, all of his clothes had frogs on them and my baby shower theme was to be...take a guess...FROGS :)  

 I don't have to remind myself that he is gone, he is always on my mind and in my heart. It's not like "Darn it, if it wasn't for that dang Babies-R-Us commercial, I would have gotten through my entire day without thinking of my dead son". Especially because Babies-R-Us has decided to stalk me. They send me e-mails everyday and free diapers and formula in the mail. Yes, I have contacted them about this and No, they have not stopped! When I check the mail, I usually slam the door of the mailbox shut, stomp my foot and say " Are you ******* serious?" You can laugh at this, I allow, because I usually do afterwards. Once I get the initial cuss words out of the way, sometimes all I can really do is laugh about what I just did and hope none of my neighbors seen the tantrum.

So, yes there are particular things that bother me but really there is nothing that is safe for a grieving mother. He was a part of me so every time I look down and see my semi-flat tummy, I remember him, every time I step foot into my house that is missing baby toys and clothes and future memories, I remember him. He is everywhere now, in more ways than one and will remain so forever. I love you Brody Michael <3