Tuesday, November 8, 2011

It looks a little like joy...I think

Hello Everyone. I have gotten so much feedback about Brody's frog blog and I really appreciate it all. From my mother telling me I need a proof reader to the woman I barely know telling me how much my openness has helped her deal with her losses. 

I have never claimed to be a professional writer, I am just gathering my thoughts and typing them out. I never even actually think about what I am going to write about, I just sit down and do it. I've never been a "rough draft" type of person. So, yes, I miss spell words and use incorrect punctuation from time to time but I'm not perfect and have come to find out a little secret...No one is! 

Sometimes my blogs are so disorganized but to tell you the truth...So are my thoughts. Sometimes I don't know if I am coming or going. There are moments I want to be alone but I want company. There have been times I want to talk about Brody and shout his name from the roof tops of good ole Ford City and yet in the same second I want to keep him a secret in my heart. What I mean is, when you are reading this, you are really getting my honest feelings, as jumbled up and messy as they are...they are the real deal.

Brody has changed my life. He has made me appreciate everything just a little bit more. I hope he has done the same for everyone who reads this blog. Through me, I hope Brody inspires you and motivates you to be the best version of YOU...that is what he has done for me. 

I started this blog to spread the word about still birth, miscarriage, and infant loss. I want to be able to talk about Brody without making people feel uncomfortable. Us grieving mothers deserve that. We don't get to talk about milestones and show off pictures. I cannot go to the chiropractor and rummage through my purse and say " Oh, here is my picture of my dead baby, isn't he beautiful?" "His name is Brody, he was almost 3 pounds and 15 inches long, he had his Dad's ugly feet and my lips, I don't know the color of his eyes because he was born sleeping...forever". I don't get to do that. I started the blog to make a difference, even if it's a small difference but I'm not done! This is just the beginning for me and Brody. We have big plans and ideas ahead of us and nothing is going to stop us.

With all of that rambling out of the way, here is what I really wanted to say tonight. If you're not already subscribed to the blog, please do so and if you haven't shared it with anyone, do that too. If I can help one other person, just one, It will make me feel like I am doing something. My days are filled with grieving and mourning my son, so believe me when I say that I have a sense of what joy used to feel like when I get an e-mail saying someone has commented on the Frog Blog, when I see one more member, or I hear someone say how much they love reading it. 

Also, if there is anything you would like me to talk about or discuss, please feel free to ask. No, I am not running out of ideas, that will never happen. I know people have questions and I am not afraid to answer them. If there is something you wanna know more about or that you don't understand, please suggest it to me and I will blog about it. Thank you all again for reading. I've been asked many times "how can help?" "What can do to make you feel better?" Well, unless you can bring my baby back to me, which I know is humanly impossible, there is not a whole lot anyone can do. There are things that resemble joy to me though and actually do put a real smile on my face: My wonderful family and friends who never judge, they just offer to help in any way they can ( I love you all more than you will ever know), my husband who if I do say so myself is THE BEST husband in the world!, and this blog!

1 comment:

  1. Hello. I'm Tia's mom and I just wanted to clarify that when I said she needed a proof reader,I said it jokingly. I'm am so very proud of my strong, intelligent, beautiful, and loving daughter. In the last few months, I've heard/read people say how strong, wonderful, and amazing she is. It's very nice to see other people recognize something I've known since day one. I love you dearly, T.