Hello, I'm Tia and I am a mom

"A mother's joy begins when new life is stirring inside... when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time and a playful kick reminds her that she is never alone." 

 

I fell in love the minute I took that pregnancy test, that is also the very second that I became a mother.Adam was on night shift and I took the test in the evening (don't ask why). I didn't sleep a wink that night. There were so many emotions going through my head that I couldn't wait to share with my husband. The test I took in the evening had a very slight line but it was there for sure. I took another one early before Adam got home so I could show him a "really good result".

 

  After trying for what felt like forever, I finally "passed" my pregnancy test.

 

I had always struggled with what I wanted to be when I grew up and then one day it hit me like a brick...I wanted to be a mom. Brody made me feel like I was the best mom in the world because from that point on,everything I did was for and because of him. I made the decision I was going to be a stay at home mom and Adam loved the idea as well. I was never more happy in my entire life. I researched everything on breastfeeding and was determined to be the best at it. 

 

My life was consumed by this new joy. I would like to think all mothers are consumed by the life of their children. I know that's not always the case and I pray every night for those little ones.

Since Brody grew his wings, I have been asked about a hand full of times by strangers if I am a mom or if I have children. My answer is either: "Yes, but he lives in heaven" or "yes, I delivered him still born on August 21st". My answer will never be "No",even after I have other children. Because you see, Brody will never and could never be replaced. Could you replace one of your children? No one in their right mind would say to someone, pick one of your children to say goodbye to, just take your pick but then tell them it's okay because they are young and can have more children. It's the same for us grieving mothers with empty arms. Our children will never be replaced by "trying again". Its not about failing and "giving it another shot".

 

So, I was not just a mom for almost 8 months, I am a mom and will be forever