Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Week 22 update

Ah, week 22. Full of surprises. Little subtle surprises. Nothing that yielded a trip to the ER or anything like that just your normal "change of weather allergies and cold".

I was happy to have the change in weather. The 60s 70 degree works for me except for the lack of clothing that fits my pregnant belly part. I should have been pregnant last year at this time too but I wasn't. Instead I was grieving my son. I should have had my shower on September 10th last year but instead friends and family had to be called to tell them there would be no shower because there would be no baby. Thankfully, I had a generous friend do those "honors". I'm sure there weren't many to call anyhow because in this town, word spreads very fast.

Nope, this time last year I was probably starting to prepare myself for my first trip on a plane to Siesta Key, where I would really cover myself in my grief and somehow find some peacefulness in the death of my son.

This year is way different. Week 22 consisted of lots of nice movement. I'm actually getting concerned about my child's obsessive behavior with my bladder. He is really partying it up in there.

I did catch a cold or found a new allergy to saw dust. Whichever it was, it had me sneezing constantly and weak bladder + sneezing= Well, Do I really have to explain it?
The doctor suggested another ultrasound at 26 weeks to make sure that my placenta is doing it's job this time and that there are no signs of clots or abruptions. I will probably start to have more ultrasounds as we start to get closer and closer to the due date.

Speaking of which, I was looking at a trimester calender the other night and I realized, as of right now ( almost 24 weeks...6months) I am almost through my second trimester. And as my eyes glared at the THIRD trimester, my tummy felt a bit sick. THE third trimester. It is kinda scary to me. The trimester when Brody's heart stopped beating. What if my womb just isn't safe in the third trimester? I wish I could just rid myself of all the worries but it is impossible at this point. They come on by themselves and I'm unable to make them disappear. I will spare you all of the horror that I imagine in my mind's eye.

Dear God, please let Isaac come home with us.

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