Sunday, August 26, 2012

It's a ...

I'm sorry it took so long to get this posted but here it is...

As planned, Adam and I drove down to our hospital early morning on Brody's birthday. I prayed myself to sleep the night before. I prayed for a good day, I didn't expect a great a one, I just wanted it to be peaceful.

I woke with peace and joy, hand in hand and I said "thank you"

Upon arrival, we waited a long time for the ultrasound. The hospital was especially busy that day and the thought that I was there one year before fighting for my life as I watched my son's life slip away had not occurred to me.

I didn't forget, I just was at peace.

As we watched our baby stretch and bounce around on the screen, my first question was about the heart. "are there any heart defects", I asked. "No, the four chambers are pumping great and are all in place". I felt relieved. Everything was looking perfect and in my head I compared it to Brody's anatomy ultrasound which was much shorter and less thorough.

We looked away as she determined the gender and wrote it on a piece of paper and put it in the envelope that we gave her.

I went the entire day with that envelope in my purse. I usually hate surprises but the anticipation made my heart feel good that day. Adam and I had lunch and talked about Brody and guessed if he would be getting a brother or sister.

We then took the envelope to a gift store where a friend of mine took care of the rest for us. She filled the box that we provided with pink or blue balloons and one special "Happy Birthday" balloon for Brody.

Our family and friends started arriving and I was getting excited. We opened up and out flew blue balloons. Brody's balloon stayed in till last and floated away slowly.

I'm not gonna lie, my heart skipped a beat when I saw blue. I needed a minute to let it soak in but everyone was around so I smiled. And, just look at my husband's face. He was glowing with pride.

I knew Adam saw my confusion. I didn't know what to think. So, he did what he does best and tried to make me laugh...

I then announced that his name would be Isaac Michael.

After our company left and I had time to reflect, my reflection turned into pure exhaustion as our day was so busy as was my mind. I drifted off to sleep...
And I woke up in LOVE!
I went to sleep confused as to how I could love both of my boys, how could I share the love I have for Brody with Isaac. Well, somewhere in dreamland, I figured it out and my hesitation about getting close to Isaac flew right out my bedroom window.
I was also surprised to wake to news about a hurricane heading towards Florida. Southern Florida, where we had conceived...its name was Isaac! I said a prayer that everyone would be safe and unharmed and then I smiled.

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