My rainbow

I haven't got to posting a 7 month update yet but I have discovered the blogger app on my phone. Woohoo. Which means I can get a post in during bad morning nap time. Aka baby is in my arms after an early morning bellyache and blowout and I'm blogging away with my thumb. :). 

Whatever works. 

I can't believe my sweet rainbow baby is THIS big. He is such a little man. I often look at him and already see a toddler forming. 

It used to be somewhat annoying hearing "enjoy it, it goes so fast" but, oh my word...it's true! 

August came and went. It was very crappy. Different but crappy. It made me miss the days I had the time to drown myself in my own tears and lay down with grief and snuggle up. 

I was snuggling up with something and someone different this time. It felt good but it pierced my heart in a way that made me feel like I was betraying my grief. I had an ongoing relationship going with it. I still do. But it's long distant now. We aren't face to face. We don't snuggle up. We don't embrace. We are distant but I still know its there waiting. 

I have moments. I hear a song. I have days that the sun shines and I miss the freedom of only having the grief to cuddle. Brody felt close. Heaven felt close. 

But... I think it goes without saying. I live for this face...this smile. I go on because of him. I wake every morning for him. My little rainbow. He truly does make the sun shine brighter.