week 31

I made it through week 30. It was the longest week thus far for sure. So many emotions. I must have told Adam that I was sorry approximately 34356 times. "Moody" is quite the understatement.

But, things turned around a bit in week 31. I'm gonna say it...I even had a sense of relief. I actually do feel like Isaac will be coming home with us.

I began to feel a lot less like a foolish idiot when purchasing baby items for him. Excitement set in ten fold and I didn't have to stop and think about if I was going to be sending this stuff away to lost baby land, hopefully never to be seen again.

Adam and I. Well, Adam put together all of the baby furniture and I started washing all of Isaac's clothes and putting them away. I had dreamed of folding baby clothes across an ever growing belly for a long time and actually doing it put my love and excitement for this little boy right over the edge.

In years past, In pre Brody times, I would have been listening to Christmas music at the beginning of November but last year became a dreaded mess. I couldn't find my Christmas spirit, I didn't believe in Santa, every song reminded me of of family minus one, I didn't send Christmas cards because I wanted to put Brody's name on them even if it made people uncomfortable and I just wanted it all to be over with.

So this year, I decided to tread lightly. I didn't want to jump in full force and only be let down again by my lack of Christmas spirit. I waited until the day after Thanksgiving and I decided to slowly and with no sudden movement to press the 3WS button on my car radio. "The Christmas Station".

It felt right! It felt normal....no...it felt good. It was there, my Christmas spirit was there! Is it the raging pregnancy hormones that blinded me of last Christmas and how miserable I was or is it here to stay? I guess we will find out but I'm totally convinced that the way Isaac moves to the joyous sound of Christmas music that he wants to be a Christmas baby! :)