Week 12 update

Week 12 consisted of some ups and downs. Mostly ups, as my excitement is increasing every day about this little one. When I was pregnant with Brody, I think I took the miracle of being pregnant for granted at some points. I didn't actually soak up how amazing the process really is. I didn't grasp completely the blessing that I was enduring and how God had planned out every second of the pure joy and pure agony that I was about to hold in my arms. I was stunned at the baby jumping on my bladder and kicking at my ribs but the whole thing just seemed so natural to me.

This time, I get it! I mean, I really am beside myself sometimes at the miraculous things that God has done in my life. Everything fits together now. I know, your thinking, It takes your son dying for you to realize God plans everything? And no, that's not the case at all. I have, for the most part, always believed God existed. Its just now that I have this investment in Heaven (Brody), my relationship with God not only exists, it shapes me. Its so personal. I feel Brody around me all of the time and I can especially feel him smiling when I smile about touching my belly. He is happy and both God and him can see that I see how things are coming along and my puzzle is coming together.

For example, I don't find it the least bit coincidental that I will be exactly 18 weeks on Brody's birthday. 18 weeks is when my hospital does their anatomy ultrasounds. I have it scheduled and ready to go. I have been fearing that day all year. Now, I think I've been given something to lessen the blow. I'm not promising zero tears and a day free of heartache but I will know for sure that my son is looking down that day smiling and I think that might just be enough to help me survive that day.

With all that said, I find myself trusting that even if things don't go as planned, I know its what is right. Last Tuesday, I started having pains in my back and in my lower belly. I knew it wasn't getting better and decided to tell Adam we should probably make the trip to the ER. The drive takes about an hour for us but that detail becomes insignificant when you think the life of your baby is in danger. We arrived and the first thing they did was check for a heartbeat with the doppler. They found it right away and I could see the color return to my husband's face as he reached for my hand. He was more worried than me. As always, I was prepared to hear the worst, but happy to hear that heart beat.

They went on to do an ultrasound and found a cyst that had ruptured on my ovary. This isn't anything new for me. My ovaries and I haven't been on the best of terms since I was a teenager. The cyst was small and the doctors didn't seem very concerned with removing it or anything drastic. They expected it to fully rupture and the pain to subside, which it did.

The whole ER trip was really the only down of the week.

Ups consisted of mostly food, as usual. Another family picnic with lots of yummy deliciousness.

Ive been completely obsessed with orange juice. With Brody, it was lemonade but this one seriously loves orange juice....and cucumbers. Healthy cravings at that. The baby was the size of a lime. Just an FYI. These sizes mean from head to rump, not including arms and legs, which are constantly moving like crazy in there. At a certain point in pregnancy ( I forget which week right now) the length will start to be measured in its entirety( including arms and legs).

Anyway, Here is week 12 belly pic.

I hope everyone is enjoying the weekly updates as much as I am. :) Can you believe it? Just this week to go and I will officially be in my second trimester! Amazing.