little beach baby

This is the only outfit Brody ever wore. My future attempts at getting Daddy to say yes to argyle sweaters and golf hats were shattered that day I was handed the most beautiful angel I had ever seen in a crocheted gown and a little blue hat that hardly fit him and his tiny frame.

All tucked away in his memory box, neatly placed the same way each time with a seashell on top.

I remember it pretty clearly actually. The nurse walked in and asked if I wanted him to be baptized. Without hesitation, I replied "yes". Randy, my father in law was already holding him and tried to give him back to me. I insisted he held him while being baptized. I wasn't sure why, but I knew it felt right for me. Maybe it was because Brody had an overwhelming resemblance to his Pop or maybe it was the tears in Randy's eyes, or maybe it was because Randy is like a father to me. I'm not sure but it just felt right.

He was baptized with a seashell. I never asked why, I never wondered, I just watched as the water dripped from the shell to his forehead that I had just kissed ever so gently.

I had so many dreams of Brody being my little beach baby and loving the ocean just as much as his mommy and there he was being baptized with a seashell.

When Adam and I were in Siesta Key Florida in October, I picked up each shell with a different kind of enthusiasm for shells. Each one reminded me of Brody and I had actually never felt closer to him in those days spent in Florida.

Well, we are returning to Florida next month. I'm anxious to feel the closeness but kinda scared at the same time. What if its not the same, what if its like Christmas and lacks the spirit I worked so hard on finding.

I had planned on taking some pictures for the blog but then Jesica had suggested I did something pretty neat and special while I was there. I am pretty excited to announce that I will be doing a seashell release. If you are dedicated reader of the Frog Blog, you probably remember the balloon release Adam and I did in October. This will be similar to that, only there will be no snow and lots of sunshine.

I am going to be writing the names of the angels lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss on seashells with non toxic, waterproof markers and sending them into the ocean. Of course this release has a  special meaning to me because of the shell used to baptize my little angel.

Same sort of "rules" or I guess, "anti rules" apply here. I will send a sea shell for your angel no matter the gestational age, no matter the circumstances lost, and no matter if I have never met you in my life or if you are my best friend.

Please send your baby names to tiagiardino@yahoo.com, contact me on facebook, or txt me if you know me and I will be happy to include your precious angel along with Brody. I hope to get a ton of great pictures of the release and have a special post just as I did before.

Thank you in advance with trusting me to honor and remember you babies along with my little beach baby.